Surgery is Surgery

We are kicking off the New Year by spending Thursday morning at the Children's hospital.

Insert a big wahhhh-wahhhhh.

Sloane is scheduled for a 7:30 AM surgery this morning and I can tell you that we are terrified. She has reason to be (it's her first surgery and surgery - neither how big or small - is scary) and I do not except for the fact my baby is having surgery.

She had a spot pop up on her forehead around February and after thinking it was a pimple and trying to mess with it (I'm on of "those" people) and being scolded by the Asian woman at the nail salon ("Leave her lone. She a child!"), I finally did the parental thing and took her to the pediatrician.

If you look closely on her forehead, you can see the spot!

She didn't have much cause for concern but said if it didn't go away in a month to see a dermatologist. I knew it wasn't going anywhere so we went to the dermatologist, who also thought it was nothing, but gave us a cream to apply and said to come back in a month.

We were no longer going to be in Bentonville a month from then, but whatever...

The summer went on, life happened and by September, I felt like it was starting to change color and get larger (and then smaller). We met a dermatologist here in Chicago and she felt like it wasn't a big deal but that it didn't need to be there. So we came back a month later and they sliced that sucker off (I can say it like that now but at the time, I was - and Sloane was - about to pass out).

Way to adult, mom!

They sent it off to be biopsied and called us a few weeks later. What she had was a Spitz Nevus (see image below).

I never feel I correctly explain what it is to people. What I know is that it had a form of melanoma 'attached to it' and thought it was benign, the dermatologist felt like more of the skin attached needed to be removed, but we had to see a pediatric plastic surgeon.

So... off we went to the big children's hospital here in Chicago (Ann & Robert H. Lurie's Children's Hospital to be exact) and met with a wonderful surgeon by the name of Dr. G (because spelling her last name and pronouncing may not ever be able to happen for me in the lifetime). She explained what we needed to remove and why. The why being that this area wouldn't affect her now, but it could affect her in 20 years. So it's best to remove it now and be done with it.

And that is what we are doing.

Bright and early. On the fourth day of 2018.

We haven't told her much about this because I have never been one to bring up big events, such as this, that might scare her for weeks until a day or so before. I remember her first dance recital - she was three. We had no idea that she would be in a recital, but sure enough, they wanted the young ones up on the stage to perform. Other moms said no, we aren't doing it. Some told their kids what they would be doing and the kids didn't want to do it. I never mentioned it to Sloane until we walked out the door. And though I was hesitant about the entire thing, I was SO glad I sent her to do it. It's one of those extremely happy moments in my life that I wish many others could have witnessed. She was carefree... and hysterical... up on stage!

Just before we left for her recital - she dressed in her favorite attire! 

So I won't change my approach now. Tonight before bed, I will walk her though tomorrow morning and explain as much as I know. She may or may not sleep with us (I do NOT like her to sleep with us - she's an awful sleeper!), but when you're scared, the best place to be is with mom (and dad). And we will get up tomorrow and go to the hospital.

It's not a long procedure, but she will have to go under anesthesia, which is where I could possibly lose it. But once it's done, it's done. She will have no pain. Just a scar we will have to work on. 

But she will be fine. 

But until then, neither of us will be fine.

Because surgery is surgery. It's scary, even if it is minor. And it's my baby. 

So here is hoping I can hold the tears in until after she is not in my sight anymore. And then happy tears when we see her again!

XXOO,

Allyson