My Reece: Part 1

 When I started this blog, I mentioned that I really wanted there to be an open dialogue between myself and the readers. And I was serious.

I was truly hoping that people would leave comments on the blog or on social media and I have definitely gotten feedback which is really fun!

But this is a part of my life that I’m very happy to share with everyone, but that takes a personal twist.

Because it is about my Reece.

My sweet Reece who was born four years ago early in the morning post 4th of July. Our firecracker baby!

There was nothing unusual about my pregnancy with Reece, except that he gave me sciatic nerve pain — I attributed that to him being a male. :) But everything else was fine. His birth was super fast, but fine. Nothing ever would have made me blink an eye about him, until a few months after he turned two.

It all really started on a gorgeous fall day in Elk River, Minnesota at my cousin Alec's first home football game.

We walked up into the stands with my aunt and uncle. I came loaded down with things to keep the kids entertained because I was NOT leaving that football game early!

We all stand up when they are about to kickoff and start yelling -- perfectly normal for a football game kickoff -- but Reece hunkered down and covered his ears. It was the strangest thing! It was like it was too loud and scaring him! He had been in louder places than this before but I still thought it strange. I got out the headphones and iPad for him and he settled down.

I took this at the football game!

But I just remember thinking… "That was different."

We went back a few weeks later. Same thing happened. Finally by halftime, I called it and we took off for the car. But before we left, we all of course had to go to the bathroom. So I attempted to wait in line for the large port-o-potty when we were bamboozled by a clamor or high schoolers. LOUD high schoolers.

And he lost it.

Covering ears. Screaming cries.

Screw the bathroom. To the car.

A few months later, we moved from Minnesota (to Kansas for a month and a half while our house was being finished) to Arkansas for Matt's work. And that is where things seemed to escalate.

Reece's speech was delayed, but so was Sloane's. We had her tested at the age of three and they told us it would come and not to worry. It did come and we stopped worrying. I just assumed the same would be for Reece.

But it wasn't.

He was 2.5 at the time.

His teachers suggested having his hearing checked because it seemed like he couldn't hear them unless they were in his face. I said I had never thought about it, I assumed he was ignoring me like most children do! But said we would absolutely look into it.

So off to the pediatrician. Then to an ENT. Where we learned the incredible anxiety Reece had worked up over doctors. They tried to do two easy hearing tests; one where they put headphones in your ears (similar to the Apple headphones) to monitor your hearing and one where we sat in a soundproof booth and they would play different noises in different parts of the room to see if he would react.

He LOST it both times they tried these things.

He lost it when the doctor tried to look in his ears.

We did this three different times until finally they said they'd have to sedate him to see in his ears and see if he needed tubes. It was a sad day at the hospital but he did end up needing tubes and I do think that really helped his hearing and speech!

This was June 2015.

We had some other major moments occur - the biggest meltdown/tantrum/out of his mind moment I had ever seen when leaving from a hair salon after attempting to get his haircut. He walked up to the salon, said nope, walked out — walked back in, said nope, walked back out. Finally I said to the car. I try to get him in his seat and that was it.

He was screeching to get out of the carseat, he was kicking, hitting, doing whatever he could to try and get out. I had to get strong and try not to hurt him, but get him in the seat. We finally pull away, him still losing his mind, and he somehow has maneuvered out of the seat.

I stop the car and pull over. And just sit there. And sob. Because at that point, I didn’t know what to do. I was so mad at him, but so scared for him, too. Also, Sloane was sitting there, covering her ears… I’m quite certain it was as mind boggling to her to see her brother acting this was as it was to me.

I finally crawled in the backseat, completely unbuckled him, and just sat there. I gave him some time to calm down.

Five minutes later, he looks at me, grabs me, hugs me and says, “What’s the matter, mom?”

You guys … its as literally like an out-of-body experience for him. Like when he does these things, I don’t think he even knows what is happening.

It was after this that I knew something wasn’t right. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know who to turn to (I still feel this way most of the time). I felt helpless.

But wanted nothing more than to HELP him!

I remember googling (literally) “how to give a haircut to a kid who hates to get haircuts”. There were lots of pages, lots of forums I clicked on and finally a mom mentioned her son had Sensory Processing Disorder (http://www.ascentchs.com/developmental/sensory-processing/symptoms-signs-effects/). I had never heard of this, but went and read. My dad happened to be visiting and I said, “Dad! Listen to this…” I read off some of the ‘symptoms’ and we both said “Wow… that sounds like Reece!”

Do you THINK he needs a haircut?!!!

Now, not everything is Reece, but at least four or five of the symptoms were Reece: loud noises, language delay, difficulty following directions, transitioning.

I read on that the best way to help someone with SPD was to get them in to occupational therapy. I immediately checked on this and we got Reece in for an evaluation and had him starting by January 2016.

We bought him headphones to help with the really noisy places. This was the first movie he actually sat through!

Didn't bring the headphones to the baseball game because we didn't think we needed them but as you can see, he probably could have used them! 

After one of our occupational therapy appointments... it had been a rough week.

I feel like I need to say this, even though I’m sure it’s a given. But I love this kid with my entire being. He makes me so happy and so proud, yet so angry all at the same time! He is very smart, he is very sweet, he has the greatest chuckle next to his papa and he loves everyone. But he is a tough cookie and sometimes I feel like I'm walking on eggshells to keep him content because I don't want to deal with a meltdown.

The kid can have some smarty pants moments ... such as this, when he typed his own name!

But he's my Reece. Quirks and all.


XXOO,
Allyson

Sidenote: I'll do a follow-up post with more details as to what we have done to help him, doctors we have visited, etc. And I'm super-sorry about this post and how it's probably a little confusing - I would type, then stop and think, then type, then stop and think... :)

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere

You know how you envision curling up into bed with your sweet child, reading them books and snuggling with them before they drift off to sleep?

Yeah, that is not me.

It sorta kinda used to be me... but I can confirm with 100 percent confidence that that is not me any longer!

I have said it many times, but being a stay at home mom and being a full-time job mom are one-in-the-same when it comes to what time you want to wrap you day up on the job.

5 pm is that customary time.

And since we had Sloane, almost six years ago, that time is THE time.

It's the time I wait for when 2:30 is staring at me like the day is never going to end!

5 pm is when I seem to be calling it a day. I either have dinner ready or the kids are eating and we are waiting, sometimes patiently, sometimes not so patiently, for dad to get home. So he can walk in the door, take off his work hat, put on his dad hat, and be the fun guy they love so much.

And when he walks in the door, I breathe a sigh of relief because my relief pitcher has arrived. I can take Tess, and get her ready for bed, while he deals with the other two.

We each usually try and get a kid bathed, sometimes he does both (which is wonderful) and then we each read to a kid. I usually like to read to Reece because he is sort of entertaining to read to, then you lay with him for a few minutes, then say goodnight and that is it.

Sloane picks extra long books to read, then you have to put her socks on her, then you have to lay with her for five minutes... when all you want to do is go downstairs, take a shower and watch Real Housewives.

I find it somewhat laughable that Matt has been gone the last few days and in that time frame, Reece has become my least favorite child to read to and put to bed because he now forgets that I have laid with him so he wants me to do it repeatedly.

And if you see above that 5 pm is kind of my benchmark time - or the time that I'm done for the night - you can imagine how him asking me to lay down with him 10 times makes my blood pressure rise significantly.

I bow down to all of you that can muster the energy to put a smile on your face and be patient when your little ones need water 42 times, need to potty four times, and need you to lay with them for just 800 more minutes... because my energy is gone at ... you guessed it - 5 o'clock! ;)

So... on this final night of single parenting (Matt returns tomorrow at 2 pm, PRAISE GOD) and day two of Fall Break, after taking an hour and a half to bathe and read to everyone, I am sitting here at 8:30 without food in my stomach and I'm exhausted.

OHHH. I also am taking all three kids in for flu shots in the early morning.

Because when they mess with me at bedtime, I mess with them in the morning.

#dropsmic

#walksoffstage


XXOO,
Allyson

PS. I love my kids. But I'm tired. :)

Two Moms and Its Zoo at the Zoo

What do you do when it's Fall Break, your original plans of being on a beach fall through and your husband is out of town, your best friend works with kids every day, but has two days off AND you have a van?

You beg her to to take her kids to the zoo ... an hour and a half away!

AND she agrees!

You can just say that this picture signifies us livin' the dream.


That was before we pulled the car out of the garage and we actually LEFT for our destination.

If I remember correctly, eight seconds after this was taken, two kids started crying and two other kids were mad about someone touching the iPad.

But an hour and a half flew by, thanks to good conversation with my road pal, and Sloane's excellent bottle-feeding skills and ability to cheer up any baby/toddler.

Our first stop was lunch. We unloaded five kids at Dairy Queen, somehow everyone got food (and no ice cream because that wouldn't have been a disaster waiting to happen before the zoo), and we didn't leave anyone behind (though I contemplated leaving Reece).

We made it to the zoo, the zoo that is only an hour and a half from where I grew up in southeast Kansas, but the zoo that I had NEVER been to. Apparently when I came to Tulsa, I came to either fly out/in or shop.

But our first task, once getting paid and through the gate, was an attempt to get both Stacey children to stay fully clothed (I just HAD to snap a pic)! :)

Then we checked to see who was most-monkey like. My kids won that.

So proud. 

And since we came to the zoo to see the cool animals, the first thing we had to do was ...

Ride the carousel and the train.

I told Jenna, since we had already threatened the kids about 87 times already that day, that maybe by letting them on the rides at the beginning would be reverse psychology...

"HEY! If we let you go on these now, you have to be good the rest of the day!" 

And that's the funniest parenting lie you'll ever hear from me!

So on the train we went. The three amigos in the front and the rest of the ya-hoos in the back.

We managed to make it to the Children's Zoo, where my kids felt right at home -- they just had spent the weekend at their grandpa's farm, touching all sorts of smelly creatures so this goat was nothing! 

 Sloane had brought a "bag of stuff" into the zoo and when we got to the giraffe exhibit, she dug around and found her stuffed giraffe, that she had specifically brought to show the real giraffes.

As you can see, they got a kick out of it. ;)

 

One of Reece's many attempts at leading us through the zoo! Jenna tore the map in half at one point to give one half to Anna and the other to Reece and she saw the wrath of Reece come out. Thank God our second copy of the map wasn't too far away! :) 

 

 See this girl on the right? Yeah. This is precious Anna who was voted No. 1 child by the adults this trip! I told her many times that she could have anything she wanted, she just had to ask! Luckily the girl doesn't have many words yet or I probably would have had to buy her the gift shop.

  

After taking the iPad away from the boys, and eventually giving it to Sloane, and Max asking Jenna approximately 12 times when he was going to get the iPad back, everyone but Sloane, Jenna and myself fell asleep just until we pulled back into town.

Three things happened on this trip:

• Parenting kids -- the good and the bad -- is tough, but EVERYONE is dealing with something, so when you think you're alone, you're most definitely not.
  
• We should have left the boys at home.
  
• Memories were made!

It was a long day and another one where I felt like I spent 75 percent of it telling my kids to stop doing something or to start listening - totally normal day for me. But I was so thankful that Jenna and her crew were able to come along!  

Now... what to do today... 

XXOO,

Allyson