Sweet Farewell

If a picture could tell a story, this one is the perfect one of my grandma.

The hair, the glasses, the smile... the sweatshirt.

How many of you can raise your hand to say you've owned a sweatshirt like this, made by Grandma Dean? Or maybe you preferred the t-shirts with the curly-q ribbons sewn on?

I can guess that a few of you owned them. And if you didn't own them, you saw them (and maybe wished for one)!

This picture tells a million stories to me and will forever be the image that I attach to the memories.

This sweet lady left the earth on Wednesday, Dec. 20 in the late hours after her body finally decided to give itself away. Grandma had the dirty Alzheimer's disease for the last years of her life and though she didn't remember much or remember many, she still had those eyes. I always told my mom that I was CERTAIN that she would outlive us all. She didn't remember anything but she was always physically doing as fine as one could be doing at 92 years of age.

Then mom saw her this last weekend when she attended grandma's Christmas party at the nursing home she had been living at in Coffeyville and she told me that something just didn't seem right to her. And my mom should know... she will be martyred one day for her selflessness when it came to care for her own mother (and father). Three days after that conversation, the nursing home called and said she wasn't doing well.

That night, after really struggling to breathe, she took her last breath.

And left us all behind to reminisce... and miss... that sweet white-haired lady down the block.

Most of my childhood was spent living only a block from my grandparents (and also in the same town as my other grandparents - we were pretty lucky).  If one of us was sick, we were with grandma. If someone needed to go to the orthodontist (that would be me), we went with grandma (and got Sonic burgers on the way home).

Me and Grandma (1983ish)...

Grandma and I (2016ish)...

If you wanted to die of boredom, you would go with grandma shopping at JCPenney's or Sears or Wal-Mart. If you wanted to get in trouble, you would wrestle with your cousins, only for one who shall not be named to whine he was being tortured and she'd come running to his rescue. And he would smile.

If I could tell you one thing about my grandma, it's that she had a heart of gold. She would do anything for anyone... even if it meant picking up a hitchhiker on the side of the road and taking them to the nearest town... or buying a vacuum cleaner from a door-to-door salesman just to help the poor kid out. All of these things would drive my mom CRAZY (as it should have), but that was just grandma.

There are so many stories I could tell you, memories I could share, but instead I'm going to just spit out random things that come to my mind that were totally my grandma:

 -- Barbara Bush and Nancy Regan. She loved these first ladies and I feel like I faux-read all of the books she had of theirs numerous times.

-- Jewelry. My grandma had some snazzy jewelry that I would play with in her back bedroom and I never remember seeing her wear any of it! 

-- Lauren. My sister seemed to make adults her best friends: Lisa Doty and grandma. 

-- Debbie Reynolds and Doris Day. My love of old movies is because of my grandma Dean. If you've never seen It Started with a Kiss or Send Me No Flowers, I highly recommend you put them on your watch list.

--Stories. I distinctly remember staying at grandma and grandpa's when they lived on Elm Street, sleeping in what was my uncle Woody's room, grandma laying with me and I'd ask her specifically to tell me the story of... how my uncle Dave and aunt Carol met. I donno. :) 

-- Hidden Twix. Sometimes, if I got lucky, I would find Twix bars hidden in a cabinet above where the landline was...

-- Wiffle ball. My brother would have his friends (and their friends) over to play wiffle ball tournaments every day in grandma's backyard.

-- White Diamonds perfume by Elizabeth Taylor. 

-- Laundry and ironing. The woman ironed like it was her business. And also did our laundry free of charge. But to clarify, she TOLD my mother to drop the laundry off because she enjoyed doing it. She just would tell everyone in town that she was SO busy because she had to do Mary Ann's laundry. 😂

-- Singing and dancing. I can just hear her! AND see her. Do I wonder why my mom dances around in the kitchen? Nope. She got it from her mama! 

-- RC and Sam's Choice Cola. These were grandma's soda choices. And even when I went to college, I would go to Walmart and grab some Sam's Choice. 

-- Dogs. My grandma did not like dogs. And then my uncle named his dog after her mother, Agnes, and I feel like she sort of had to give in. 

-- Family. The absolute best of times were when her house was full of family. And at this time of year, it was packed. Many years, my brother, sister and I would be standing inside grandma's house, at the door, noses to the windows, waiting for people to arrive. And waiting to watch my uncle Steve unload the 356 presents that were coming from the back of his car (this is no joke). 

The Barnes Family (minus Marcia) circa 1986ish...

The Barnes Family circa 1990ish...

The Barnes Family 26  years later...

My grandma might have left this earth, but the memories of her and the stories will never be forgotten. It's fairly impossible - she had six kids, who had 16 kids, who had 20 kids, who had three kids. I mean... there are Barnes' everywhere!

I can tell you that as a 35-year-old mom of three who lives 10 hours away from my kids grandparents, I definitely took for granted the time my grandma gave to me and my family. I read a quote recently that said something to the effect of "a thousand moments that I had taken for granted mostly because I had assumed there would be a thousand more" is the story of my life with all of my grandparents. My grandma Dean was the last of my four to pass away... did I ever dream I'd see the day when I didn't have grandparents anymore?

No. Absolutely not.

Do I now cherish those moments I had with all of them even more now?

100 percent yes. 

Do I know that I will see them again someday?

Yep. 

So until then... grandma, thank you.

Thank you for your laugh, your singing, your dancing, your cleaning, your appliqué sweatshirts, your love of Page Cavanaugh, your hugs and for my family.

I'll see you on the other side of the stars. 💗

XXOO,
 Ally